A Public Warning: FF7 Fandom

mela: One of the main reasons why i couldn't live with them anymore was because they started getting abusive Would you like me to tell you what happened so you can compare stories? I have witnesses
friend: sure
mela: Jen and I were having a verbal arguement about something, I think it was money, but I can't remember for sure, but Jen was standing like 7-10 feet away from me. in the kitchen. apparently, she thought I was being irrational, and moving my hands up and down too much (that's what she told me later) so she walked up to me and slapped me (she said it was to calm me down)but i felt attacked, and so i put out my arms and held her awaythen jen started punching me and someone grabbed my hair and drug me to the ground then jen and anna were hitting me, mostly in the face, and pulling my hair up and down, and in doing so pulling the back of my head into the floor. I had ahold of someone's hair because it came into my range, and was kicking and biting anything I could, hoping to get them off of me but both of them sat on me then jen started choking me and i blacked out, but not from her choking me because she wasn't doing a good job of that but because she hit my head on the floor too much i came to and jen was ranting about how she and anna were leaving and how she was going to call the meadows on me if i didn't get up right now but i couldn't because i couldn't move i could hear everything but not move She called my parents and said i had gone crazy they almost left, in fact now i wish they had oh, I remember what the fight was about--Jen had decided that I was behaving badly and that noone in the house should talk to me, so everyone went on silence from me. They all pretended i wasn't there. So I took out a dry erase marker and wrote something along the lines of "Am I going crazy? Will someone please talk to me?" on the walls. Jen threw a fit saying that I was "destroying her house" when the house is mine to begin with. Also, it's DRY ERASE MARKER, it WIPES OFF we even had special cleaner for it but yeah, that's what happened
friend: the meadows?
mela: it;s the local psychiatric place
friend: ahhh
mela: insane assylum
friend: gimme a minute, digesting it all
mela: ok
friend: me and jen gonna have a talk just damn
mela: damn?
friend: the whole thing
mela: I didn't even say anything about the time i was bleeding
friend: they hit you hard enough on the head to knock you out and you weren't bleeding?
mela: nope i had bruises REALLY BAD even weeks later, but the floor was a really blunt object
friend: true
mela: you want to hear the story about bleeding?
friend: yes
mela: Now in order for much of this to make sense, you have to understand a few things about how I work when I feel threatened.
friend: i'mguessing not peacably
mela: Not really, I have a tendancy to berserk Someone else fronts and I start fighting and I just don't stop
friend: but if it's someone else fronting, wouldn't that cease to be you in the "I" sense. i admit to bad understanding of multiple systems
mela: I've gotten much better at this, and at coming back front, but still, I've told all of them that if they're yelling at me, or we're ina big fight, don't touch me, don't hit me, don't slap me, i'm really flighty
friend: *nods*
mela: Yes, I don't know who this person iswho reacts this way as this person will ONLY front when threatened
mela: and won't talk
friend: that's. . .not good
mela: Yeah, I've gotten in situations where I felt threatened since then and managed to stay front, and it's much better now but i don't want to make that go away entirely, as it's a good safety mechanism
friend: I know the feeling. I have a full on Darkheart
mela: when this person fronts, i do not react to pain, nothing short of several people sitting on me will restrain me
friend: the joys of a good adrenaline rush too
mela: this person used to make me forget what happened when they fronted, but now i remember most of it
friend: *nods*
mela: this is ver differant than when i said i "blacked out" when they hit my head into the floor. when I "blacked out", I lay there motionless the whole time as opposed to fighting and not remembering
friend: right, this is not being in control but still moving
mela: I was in the living room, or as we called it then, the library jen was on the computer, and anna was sitting behind her and between us we were talking about something all calm, and i turned a little to the left and saw something that made me really happy--i had found my favorite pencil, the pencil i had been missing for over a year was sitting out on the table jen interrupted me. "mine. it's mine." her tone of voice was horrible, she was literally seeping hatred I was shocked
friend: whoa
mela: she was like "give it here, give it here now." i was like "its my pencil" she was like "i bought it last week, give it here now"
friend: shecould have bought the same kind of pencil that week
mela: and i was thinking about how we were short on the mortgage that month, like we were probably $200 or300 short on the mortgage and hadn't payed any of the other bills yet that month, and later on i found out that jen has went out and spent $40 on office supplies to satisfy her syndrome but either way, i was kinda upset, much more upset about how she was yelling at me about the pencil than how it was my favorite so she held out her hand and i couldn't reach to give it to her, so i tossed it not hard at all, it was underhand and would have landedon her chest if she hadn't moved out of the way and stood up she reached down and picked up the pencil and hurled it at me then she threw the entire pencil box at my head (it hit me pretty hard) then she lunged at me
friend: damn
mela: anna was in the way, and anna stopped her and held her back for maybe 30 seconds i was freaking out by then
friend: I can imagine
mela: jen kinda calmed down
friend: that's good
mela: she had been yelling about how i had throwed it at her eye, which i did throw it higher than i had intended because i was all adrenaline and scared but nowhere near her head
friend: perceptions can be tricky and depth perception is sometimes hard.
mela: and i kept saying "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i didn;t mean to" from the beginning
friend: fair enoughh
mela: so anna gets done holding jen back and she turns around and slugs me in the face
friend: that's a turn around
mela: and i tried to push her out of range, but anna weighs like 210-220- and at the time, i weighed like 120-130
friend: she's out of your weight class ;-)
mela: yeah, WAY out of my weight class so she starts hitting me in the face, and i grabbed ahold of her hair and she took me down onto the floor well, i'm laying there under her and she keeps hitting me in the face and i'm kicking at anythign i can see and biting at anything that's in reach all the while she's hitting me in the head and the face and pinning me to the ground and i could feel the berserker under my skin and i was fighting very hard to not bite chunks out of her so she hits me just wrong and catches me with her ring on my eye socket and it starts gushing--a little wound, but there was blood everywhere, and it was kinda deep so renee's like "ok, ok, there's blood, you need to stop" and i go limp and anna keeps hitting me for at least the next minute and i waited until i decided that she REALLY wasn't going to stop and then i started defending myself again I tried to keep my hands up over my face and head, and curl my legs up near my stomache so that she couldn't do much serious dammage, so between trying to kick her, i was curled up in the fetal position and then through anna's hair i saw someone coming at me, and so i kicked out and it was jen and she went away
friend: I'd get out of the way of kicking an flailing too
mela: she got a wooden dowel about an inch in diameter and flat on the end and held it up to my chest and tried to "stake me" at this point in spite of the fact that anna was still pummeling me, i almost bust up laughing because it was so IMMATURE and she had no idea how much force it would take to actually spear me with a blunt stick of that size
friend: yeah
mela: i mean it takes about full force to stick a sharpened pencil any distance into someone, much less something that big, especially when she was holding it flat on my chest and pushing they finally pulled anna off me and jen's ranting and raving about "disobediant childer" and anna's lunging at me every chance she gets, trying to pull away, anna saying that i was out of control and renee keeps saying i need to go upstairs and clean off my face because it was covered in blood so i went upstairs and jess came up after me and was talking to me in the bathroom, i was shaking so bad and sobbing
friend: I can imagine
mela: and i kept hearing anna screaming downstairs about how she wanted me out of the house MY HOUSE and after a few minutes i went to the top of the stairs and yelled how i wanted her out of my hearing range immediately, or i would call the cops and tell them she was no longer allowed in my house i was yelling to have someone shut her up because every time i heard her, it made it harder to breathe and i was having a full-blown panic attack
friend: and given what you felt, yeah I can see that
mela: and jess was all telling me how she saw it all and how it was anna who attacked me they were claiming i lunged at jen and i kept calling anna a loose cannon because she attacked me for no reason