Ballad of Phil

(Tune: "Hero of Canton", from Firefly)

"Phillll...the guy they call Phill.... He cleans up the crud while he's mopping the floors, his fur's kinda pale and he's rarely outdoors...He cleans up anything you happen to spill, the Sandbox's janitor, the guy they call Phil!

Our Phil was an average Nikitak, he worked at his job happily, until one night that was pitch black, he met a Myche named Amberly...Phil saw that she needed someone, and he took her in from her mess, for Phil was never the kind of Nikitak, who could just leave a girl in distress...

Phillll...the guy they call Phill.... He cleans up the crud while he's mopping the floors, his fur's kinda pale and he's rarely outdoors...He cleans up anything you happen to spill, the Sandbox's janitor, the guy they call Phil!

So Phil and the girl they settled in, till one night the thunder split the sky, slavers came pourin' out of nowhere, and Phil got that look in his eye...He wielded his mop like a true hero, he left slaver bodies lyin' in great heaps, and the leader of them all pulled a knife, Phil swept him right out in the streets!

Phillll...the guy they call Phill.... He cleans up the crud while he's mopping the floors, his fur's kinda pale and he's rarely outdoors...He cleans up anything you happen to spill, the Sandbox's janitor, the guy they call Phil!"