If you don't feel like talking, otherwise distracting activities help. DON'T leave yourself alone to brood in your thoughts. Working on stories, poems or artwork are all good ways of getting out both your frustrations and giving your hands something to do. Reading is an excellent way to engross yourself and to escape for a little while. Playing video games or board games is another way of coping with it. Walking alone or going out by yourself isn't something that helps, as solitude makes it easier to mull over your problems. Keep yourself in the company of those you trust. It's also a good idea to have those people know that you either are SIing now, or have in the past. Otherwise you begin to feel guilt and that guilt eats away at the positive influence your friends would otherwise have.

Try something you know makes you feel good, even if it seems silly to others. Maybe playing on a playground helps, or practicing hacky sack. If you have a childhood cartoon you loved to watch or book you loved to read, a little nostalgia may perk you up.

Although it sounds odd, I also reccomend that you make all impliments of self destruction inaccessable to yourself. Nobody else should take them away from you without your consent, because if you're not ready to try to stop on your own, you won't.

When all else fails and the urge to hurt yourself takes control, stay calm. Getting emotional will not help the matter. If you really don't want to, find someone you trust and tell them that you're having a hard time right now. Go to a movie with friends, or stay home and rent videos and play Nintendo. You don't need to say exactly what's going on, just have them there. Vent to them a little and distract yourself. The urge will pass.

Stopping is a very gradual process and may take some people months or even years to complete. You'll find that with determination and outside help you will be able to cure yourself. The occassional slip is alright- Just know that you aren't back to square one. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time and it does not mean you can't do it. Never say never! You can stop, and if you truely want to, you will. It just takes some time.

If you know someone who SIs...
If someone you know self injures and you'd like to make them feel better about themselves and possibly stop, bringing it up with them straight away isn't the greatest idea. If you know that they do, you may want to choose your words very carefully ("Hey man, I've noticed you're having a hard time lately. Are you okay? You can talk to me about anything. I promise." etc). Make sure they know that you want to help and that no matter what, you will be there for them. Threatening them or acting appauled does not help. Feelings of guilt worsen the problem.

If they do not want to talk about it when you ask, wait. Let them talk to you about it, don't force the matter. To push someone who self-mutliates into the spotlight makes you into a potential danger. You would not want everyone in your school or workplace to know if you had suddenly contracted an STD, would you? They don't want anyone to know they self injure. Being on the spot tempts people to lie or avoid confrontation at all costs. A better idea is to talk about something you know cheers them up, something that's familiarly their territory. Even if you don't know much about it, get interested and at least listen.

When they do come to you with a confession, or even a partial admitance (example- "I've been feeling kind of down lately...") be comforting, not condecending. Try to be helpful but remember that you are only you. If you're their best friend, you are not their mother- don't try to be. Likewise, if you're their mother, don't try to be their best friend. They've come to you for who you are. Keep that in mind.

I don't reccomend bringing up hospitalization or medication. These are major steps which feel extremely threatening to most people. If they bring up the idea on their own, do not tell them you think it's "smart" or "good." Tell them it is their choice, and let them be the one who makes it. Going to a hospital or taking medication is not a choice you should make for anyone but yourself. It might be all right to ask if they feel like therapy may help, it really depends on the individual. Don't force the issue. This person is someone you've known before, realize that. They're not crazy, just upset. They haven't suddenly been taken over by pod people. They want your help because of the history you have between eachother. Remember that.

If you honestly don't feel like you can help them, or you yourself can't take what they're telling you for whatever reason- for the love of GOD, tell them so. But don't leave them alone and in the dark. Maybe talking about your problems to them will help. Or maybe you have someone you talk to that you think may help them. Don't close the door in their face, because this just worsens their feelings of alienation and rejection. Even if you can't be the person who helps them through their SI directly, you can help indirectly. Involve them in activities, suggest places to go. Distraction is a great tool for avoiding SI. Distract them from their own thoughts.

Never EVER threaten them with hospitalization as a punishment. Saying "You better stop, or I'll send you to the nuthouse!" is not something that will be productive in recovering from a bout of SI. Be sensitive. If you were in their situation, what would you want to hear?

FORCING BODY CHECKS ON SOMEONE IS DEGRADING AND DEPRESSING. DO NOT DO IT. If they want you to know about cutting, they'll let you see. Never ASK or FORCE them to show you. NEVER. Not only is this cruel, it does not work. Your friend will probably continue out of further feelings of alienation and depression, or begin to hide it in ways you can't quite detect through stripping. Just DO NOT DO THIS.

If someone you know suffered from SI in the past, but appears to be over it, do not bring it up to them as if it is present tense. If they have scars, do not grab or call attention to the scars. If you notice they wear something that regularly covers an area, do not accuse them of injuring themselves in that area. This is insulting and makes you come off as a hostile force. Imagine if every time you walked out the door wearing a pair of pants, someone accused you of having legs shaped like genetalia. Imagine your reaction to someone making that as a serious accusation. The indignation, confusion and general "What the hell!?" are the same.

If all else fails, and you really have begun to fear the worst, it's all right to bring a school counciler or psychiatrist into the matter. While I have written this in hopes for the best, there are situations in which "the best" will just not be enough. Use your own judgement if all of this seems to get you nowhere.